love (one)

close up photo of coconut tree
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i need to love deeply

the way that i used to when

i didn’t have an object for my love

and i had time to feel

how simultaneously heartbreaking and lovely it was, to love

 

i need to love, the way i used to when

winds whipped my hair around my face and blew the staleness out of my soul

when i went walking near the lake

just because i could

just because i loved to

 

averaged

blur calm waters dawn daylight
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i don’t recognize my life anymore, it’s living itself

there isn’t a place i can rest my head that feels like my home

maybe that was a concept only for childhood

~

i’m like tempered glass, i can take anything and never break

but i feel nothing either

~

my highs and my lows have been averaged out

to a near-constant forbearance

~

i don’t know if i’m stronger for keeping it together

or stronger if i’d let myself unravel

~

it makes me happy to make you happy

but i don’t know who i am anymore

or if i should strive to be anyone at all

silence

red and blue hot air balloon floating on air on body of water during night time
Photo by Bess Hamiti on Pexels.com

 

i get that we need to communicate and share, and lead

but sometimes i just miss being quiet.

 

there is so much going on when nothing is being said,
so many paths forming, so many ideas becoming concrete

so many particles of being vibrating at just the right
frequency to feel at one with the whole

 

silence is to speaking as dreaming is to waking

for me at least, it needs to be a regular thing

 

life’s steady trickle

nature pine raindrops drops of water
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there’s almost nothing that can’t be dissolved

by life’s steady trickle

as it falls over the illusions

we create for ourselves

~

a stiff body indicates a stiff soul

cold finders indicate a need to bring one self together

~

we’ve always been working with an iffy landscape,
of treacherous peaks and temperamental valleys

nothing we build lasts for long

~

it becomes easier to escape the noise when there is a lot of it

easier to find oneself when buried under a mountain of change and uncertainty

easier to fall off the cliffs and realize that our falls are not unsupported

~

it takes strength to pull aside the drapes to let sunlight in

it takes strength to pull aside the habit from our faces to let divinity in

but we are awfully glad that we have

beautiful

background beautiful blossom calm waters
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They say, age before beauty
and I feel I needed to attain a certain age before (the presence and value of) beauty become apparent to me,
in myself and others.

Beauty is an end in itself, if only for the reason that it is divinely inspired.

Aesthetic, mannerisms, balance,
flight of birds and symmetry of molecular structure,
they all point to this.

life (one)

woman in white dress shirt
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You know when you’re focused on something

and all of a sudden, you feel inexplicably
jerked
back to “life”?

It feels like you only just woke up from an unknown sleep.
And like some previously evasive truth has been made resoundingly clear.

And you feel grateful/sort of happy because the thing you
were so intently focused on,
can’t possibly be as important as LIFE.

And then you realize, you’ve been at this realization
before.

And then you wonder if you are meant to go in circles
or if you are simply not getting life.

And then you get called back to task.

Again.