whether we like it or not
it seems we have little choice but to return
to the habits taught to us in our youth
if only because they bring womb-like comfort
in an otherwise boundless world
i need to love deeply
the way that i used to when
i didn’t have an object for my love
and i had time to feel
how simultaneously heartbreaking and lovely it was, to love
i need to love, the way i used to when
winds whipped my hair around my face and blew the staleness out of my soul
when i went walking near the lake
just because i could
just because i loved to
i don’t recognize my life anymore, it’s living itself
there isn’t a place i can rest my head that feels like my home
maybe that was a concept only for childhood
i’m like tempered glass, i can take anything and never break
but i feel nothing either
my highs and my lows have been averaged out
to a near-constant forbearance
i don’t know if i’m stronger for keeping it together
or stronger if i’d let myself unravel
it makes me happy to make you happy
but i don’t know who i am anymore
or if i should strive to be anyone at all
i get that we need to communicate and share, and lead
but sometimes i just miss being quiet.
there is so much going on when nothing is being said,
so many paths forming, so many ideas becoming concrete
so many particles of being vibrating at just the right
frequency to feel at one with the whole
silence is to speaking as dreaming is to waking
for me at least, it needs to be a regular thing
there’s almost nothing that can’t be dissolved
by life’s steady trickle
as it falls over the illusions
we create for ourselves
a stiff body indicates a stiff soul
cold finders indicate a need to bring one self together
we’ve always been working with an iffy landscape,
of treacherous peaks and temperamental valleys
nothing we build lasts for long
it becomes easier to escape the noise when there is a lot of it
easier to find oneself when buried under a mountain of change and uncertainty
easier to fall off the cliffs and realize that our falls are not unsupported
it takes strength to pull aside the drapes to let sunlight in
it takes strength to pull aside the habit from our faces to let divinity in
but we are awfully glad that we have
Beauty is an end in itself, if only for the reason that it is divinely inspired.
Aesthetic, mannerisms, balance,
flight of birds and symmetry of molecular structure,
they all point to this.
You know when you’re focused on something
and all of a sudden, you feel inexplicably
back to “life”?
It feels like you only just woke up from an unknown sleep.
And like some previously evasive truth has been made resoundingly clear.
And you feel grateful/sort of happy because the thing you
were so intently focused on,
can’t possibly be as important as LIFE.
And then you realize, you’ve been at this realization
And then you wonder if you are meant to go in circles
or if you are simply not getting life.
And then you get called back to task.