Tag: awareness

spring

Photo by Joshua Abner on Pexels.com

leave me alone

i don’t want to go to your party and i don’t want to explain why

i want to roll my shoulders out of the upcoming events
just as easily as i roll off the winter coat that has otherwise held me in

~

the air is confused, it’s like oil mixing with water under a car
not quite sure whether it’s one colour or many

~

i don’t want to

warm up to any excitements

not yours, not anyone’s

its just not about you,
so much so, that there is no you in my mind

~

i’m stirring like i do every spring
to things and peacefulness beyond what the world has ever given me

i want to be nowhere, but i definitely don’t want to be here

~

the warm air brings with it a nausea that might bring up everything that i’ve apparently been holding down

at once i breathe in and turn away from the breeze that will be my undoing

silence

red and blue hot air balloon floating on air on body of water during night time
Photo by Bess Hamiti on Pexels.com

 

i get that we need to communicate and share, and lead

but sometimes i just miss being quiet.

 

there is so much going on when nothing is being said,
so many paths forming, so many ideas becoming concrete

so many particles of being vibrating at just the right
frequency to feel at one with the whole

 

silence is to speaking as dreaming is to waking

for me at least, it needs to be a regular thing

 

Coming home

blur coffee cold cup
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The view outside is so clear now that we’ve cleaned the windows.

The silence this spare room offers at late hours despite the near-constant sound of tires gripping road, engines conbusting outside, is like the sanctuary of my consciousness despite the constant traffic in my mind.

~

I feel like who we really are cannot be suppressed, even if the environment and circumstances change. Here I am, years later, sitting at the windowsill, writing in this journal and looking out, and in.

I think I’ll always find my windowsill no matter where I go.

May there be many more quiet nights like these.