mindfulness

blue jellyfish in water
Photo by Diogo Brandao on Pexels.com

I’m using up all of my energy treading mind’s water,
afraid to sink below the surface even for a moment.

It’s not that I can’t hold my breath;
it’s that shutting my eyes and allowing the waves to take me under
will heighten my eternal senses,
my heart.

I’m avoiding being silent, avoiding it quite deliberately,
swimming from activity to caffeinated activity,
creating more reasons to stay here, afloat.

I’m afraid to know what’s down there

but more afraid that
despite my long-held belief that the darkness is also home to a sunken treasure,

there won’t be anything else at all there with me
and I’ll know that I am truly alone.

love (one)

close up photo of coconut tree
Photo by Suparerg Suksai on Pexels.com

i need to love deeply
the way that i used to when

i didn’t have an object for my love

and i had time to feel
how simultaneously heartbreaking and lovely it was, to love

i need to love, the way i used to when
winds whipped my hair around my face and blew the staleness out of my soul
when i went walking near the lake

just because i could

just because i loved to