I’m using up all of my energy treading mind’s water,
afraid to sink below the surface even for a moment.
It’s not that I can’t hold my breath;
it’s that shutting my eyes and allowing the waves to take me under
will heighten my eternal senses,
I’m avoiding being silent, avoiding it quite deliberately,
swimming from activity to caffeinated activity,
creating more reasons to stay here, afloat.
I’m afraid to know what’s down there
but more afraid that
despite my long-held belief that the darkness is also home to a sunken treasure,
there won’t be anything else at all there with me
and I’ll know that I am truly alone.