life (one)

woman in white dress shirt
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

You know when you’re focused on something

and all of a sudden, you feel inexplicably
jerked
back to “life”?

It feels like you only just woke up from an unknown sleep.
And like some previously evasive truth has been made resoundingly clear.

And you feel grateful/sort of happy because the thing you
were so intently focused on,
can’t possibly be as important as LIFE.

And then you realize, you’ve been at this realization
before.

And then you wonder if you are meant to go in circles
or if you are simply not getting life.

And then you get called back to task.

Again.

Coming home

blur coffee cold cup
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The view outside is so clear now that we’ve cleaned the windows.

The silence this spare room offers at late hours despite the near-constant sound of tires gripping road, engines conbusting outside, is like the sanctuary of my consciousness despite the constant traffic in my mind.

~

I feel like who we really are cannot be suppressed, even if the environment and circumstances change. Here I am, years later, sitting at the windowsill, writing in this journal and looking out, and in.

I think I’ll always find my windowsill no matter where I go.

May there be many more quiet nights like these.