i never learn, do i
that nothing matters
except whether i stay true
to the belief that i’ve been
given to care for
and no achievements remain
except an even, thankful disposition
and unyieldingly faithful heart
i sometimes have these both
for a few moments before the scared,
childlike parts of me resurface
seeking attention
there’s almost nothing that can’t be dissolved
by life’s steady trickle
as it falls over the illusions
we create for ourselves
~
a stiff body indicates a stiff soul
cold finders indicate a need to bring one self together
~
we’ve always been working with an iffy landscape,
of treacherous peaks and temperamental valleys
nothing we build lasts for long
~
it becomes easier to escape the noise when there is a lot of it
easier to find oneself when buried under a mountain of change and uncertainty
easier to fall off the cliffs and realize that our falls are not unsupported
~
it takes strength to pull aside the drapes to let sunlight in
it takes strength to pull aside the habit from our faces to let divinity in
but we are awfully glad that we have
All we look for, is peace
and that’s the one thing that doesn’t want to be found.
We work eight hours to feel ten minutes of accomplishment,
walk for miles to feel a few minutes of burn, before pain sets in
and then we pray thrice or five times, just to keep ourselves framed in a reality that could go up in the flames of fear and doubt, at any moment.
We oscillate between extremes, running into, making, or hiding away from the noise of life
taking a few moments we can find, on a bus, on a train, to try going to the place we all need to go but have forgotten how.
~
Peace, I need a piece of you
to make me sweet and whole again.
Hopefully, you are enough to keep me going,
if I can find your source.
Are you doled out like medicine, only when I need you most
or can I be certain you’re abundant, like a river, fed by glaciers incomprehensible?
~
We need to be soothed, anointed with a balm that cuts through the arthritic buildup of anxiety and despair
and gives us the relief that is found in few an abode.
Oh god,
infuse the henna of my hands with faith
and tell me your story through all the people who create their beautiful artwork around me
and show me your signs through the delicate designs and vibrant colours,
none of which make any sense on their own but together come around in the most beautiful way!
~
Said she, applying the cool paste onto my palms with careful symmetry:
this is something I can meditate on.
~
I can’t believe how entwined this transition is becoming with the life I hoped you would provide for me
Please, give me the strength to be strong,
to see the truck you have provided to carry my load, whatever it be
I am on the brink of becoming something more,
a butterfly set to emerge from this bridal cocoon.
nor of the west 