leave me alone
i don’t want to go to your party and i don’t want to explain why
i want to roll my shoulders out of the upcoming events
just as easily as i roll off the winter coat that has otherwise held me in
~
the air is confused, it’s like oil mixing with water under a car
not quite sure whether it’s one colour or many
~
i don’t want to
warm up to any excitements
not yours, not anyone’s
its just not about you,
so much so, that there is no you in my mind
~
i’m stirring like i do every spring
to things and peacefulness beyond what the world has ever given me
i want to be nowhere, but i definitely don’t want to be here
~
the warm air brings with it a nausea that might bring up everything that i’ve apparently been holding down
at once i breathe in and turn away from the breeze that will be my undoing
nor of the west 